This is such a nice story, @snowbhale. You have a gentle touch in describing Snow's deep sense of guilt and worry. That works well. What works against your story is spelling. It's almost as though you have your own language. For example, in just the first three paragraphs you have these words misspelled: loosing
friends (needs and apostrophe)
untill
hundreed
bare
thot
admiting
cloude
keept
panicing
tryed

Spelling is the easiest thing to correct. If you are using a simple word processing program to write, just run the piece through Spell Check.

You have a nice touch when you write, @snowbhale. Your pieces could really shine with a little bit of polish.

We look forward to reading more of your writing.