Repeat after me: Goosfraba… not bla-bla, fraba, okay, Gooooosfraba. That's it. Feel better?
If only slowly breathing in and out and then repeating an incoherent incantation was a surefire way to managing our anger in tense situations, then the world would indeed be a better place, wouldn't it?
And if you didn't get my reference to the incoherent term above, this was taken from a clip of the 2003 movie, Anger Management.
Unfortunately, the reality is that in most instances, it isn't that simple.
Yesterday, there was a disturbing story circulating on social media about a woman who, presumably consumed by rage, allegedly shot three people, two of whom have since passed away. The woman was reportedly taking matters into her own hands following a spat with her former employer and building manager. Honestly, I'm no therapist, but I don't think Goosfraba would have done her much good.
For many of us, anger management is not just fodder for a comedic script, it's a real challenge.
While anger itself can be a healthy emotion, mental health disorders often lie at the root of one's challenges expressing or containing anger. Which brings me to this piece about intermittent explosive disorder and the question about how much of this characterizes many of the interactions that make the news showing persons blowing off their top and engaging in some form of activity or other that's damaging to themselves and others.
According to a Cleveland Clinic article, "Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental health condition marked by frequent impulsive anger outbursts or aggression. The episodes are out of proportion to the situation that triggered them and cause significant distress."
So, I'm no therapist, but I'm guessing here-
- Maybe like getting into a car and ploughing through traffic.
- Like getting a gun and walking up to someone and shooting him or her because he or she may have said or done something to offend you and you think that this is the only way to effectively handle the dispute.
I am going out on a limb here, but I think that we can each identify issues in the media in the recent past that could fit the description of someone caught up in the throes of anger, acting out and then leaving society to come to terms with the consequences of their act and to pick up the pieces.
And while conversations about mental health have been trending more in recent times- what with celebrities like Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato and Kanye West coming out and being candid about their struggles with bipolar disorder or others speaking about clinical depression and social anxiety- I am not sure that these conversations have really begun to address the simple issue of being able to identify and contain anger before it gets out of hand. Maybe it's because no star or person in the public eye has come forward to identify this as an ailment they are coping with, so it's not sexy yet.
A 2015 article by the Washington Post noted that close to 10% of the American population had anger management issues.
That was seven years ago, before society had to cope with the COVID 19 pandemic, spiralling costs, unemployment, and the concentrated plethora of challenges we have had to face in the past three to four years alone.
I'd say, without empirical evidence, that this is not just an American issue- the world is angrier today. And with unprecedented access to weapons and technology, this anger is far more dangerous, I'd say, than it was years ago.
No, this is not an anti-gun post. My focus instead is on the need for more emotional care and the early identification and treatment of mental health issues when they arise. After all, as Celeste Ng hinted in Little Fires Everywhere, it is only after an event occurs that people say, "…the signs had been there all along".
In The City of Ember, Jeanne Duprau wrote, "The trouble with anger is, it gets hold of you. And then you aren't the master of yourself anymore. Anger is. And when anger is the boss, you get unintended consequences." This is absolutely true.
Listen, I don't live in an ivory tower. I too have battled unhealthy emotional responses to challenges. Some of those responses affected my reputation and relationships and, on at least one occasion, almost cost me my life.
And so, I don't think, for example, that the young lady who allegedly shot those three people yesterday and who is now facing the full might of the judicial system really sat down and thought about the implications of her moment of rage. Yet four families now suffer because of that blind moment when anger was the boss. And by making this observation, I do not defend the act of shooting anyone. I don't. And I'm not gonna excuse it or even attempt to. It's now in the hands of the law.
But I am going to question, my friends: What will it take for us to seriously address and prioritize mental health, and not just trending stories, but really take an in-depth look at the core and causative factors- environmental factors, diet, I don't know, genetics even- to get to the bottom of this issue that has plagued our society since the dawn of man?
We boast today of so many advances in science and medicine and technology. We are now boarding rockets to space, missions to Mars, discovering stars and planets on the edges of our galaxy. We are taking on the big challenges of the universe. With all of these important missions, maybe we could spend a bit of time just cleaning up house. Though sometimes, I understand, it's the small tasks that are the most difficult to undertake.
And so, it's easy to say, "Earth is ghetto and I wanna move to another planet." But what if that were a possibility and we were actually able to move to a far flung corner of the universe? Who's to say we won't move all of our old habits and learned behaviors and responses there too?
Then again, I guess there's always Goosfraba, right? Or I feel pretty.