Those who opt to love marriages instead of arrange ones are those that believe that understanding each others and possessing emotions for each other is mandatory before getting tied into knots. But despite of this, why the ratio of failure of love marrige is high i.e 46% . Many ones argue that still the proportion of failure of arrange one is higher i.e 54%. But they forget the fact that arrange marriages might be enforced,unconsentul,incompatible and uncertain as partners are not aware of each others completely and have to be with each other because their parents want so.
Failure of arrange marriage is justified but why do love marriages fail when they must show 100 % success ratio.?
It is my personal opinion that emotions retard evaluative and deliberative power from us. For the moments of intimacy,compassion and love ,we ignore many things. But marriage is not name of only moments , its the journey of whole life. The journey in which there will be many ebbs and flow. There might be many emotional breakdown,financial deficiencies,difference in interests and alteration of life courses and only love doesn’t have capacity to withstand them all.
Love marriages may fail worstly if they ignore the factors like understanding,compatibility,mutual interests,mutal respect and adequate privacy and space. We see many love marriages getting failed just because they did not oay heed to abovementioned factors. Although intimacy and emotions are major pillars for nupital building but the agreements (though not written but verbal) can play the role of cement.
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These days there have been culture that many agreements are signed before tieing knots. These agreements range from financial securities to way of living. Partners to be put forward their demands and they mutually get agreed to them so that in nupital journey,there remains no room to brawl over them. Via agreements ,they are bind to them. Is it wrong? For me it doesn’t.
Let me elaborate my version of agreements. Whether arrange or love , I will love to have a long conversation with my spouse discussing life with her. I will tell her my strengths and weaknesses. I will tell her the things intolerable for me and will want her to do same. So that we can get clue what may come to us . From kids to work life ,I will like to fix everything before. There are some rights that wife keeps on her husband and it is not bad if she certains them before in unequivocal way so that there remains no room for confusion. Via agreements,nature of rights and duties become capable and both partners know the cost of living together or parting away.
Conclusion:
For me the verbal agreements are enough. There is no need to sign paper because if I agreed to something I will definitely stick to it but if someone feels that written agreements are must then there is nothing bad in it. We need to understand that love is beautiful but it is not sufficient for married life. What matters most is understanding,flexible nature and compassion.
Those people who run from such agreements are those which keep evil inside them. For them marriage is like a game of few months or years rather than a life journey. There is no need to getting fearful of divorce settlements,kids patriation and other agreements of such kind if person you are choosing suits you and you are sincere with him/her.
This is my blog for #hl-exclusive and #hl-w150e3.
