That Dog... Coffee and Stories

— Hey! Give me some of your coffee!

— Sure, I have enough to share, but could you be a little more polite and say: Good morning, how are you doing my good man, could you please give me some of your coffee?

— Ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm a stray dog, I didn't go to school, I thought you'd run away when you heard me and so, I'd just run away with your stuff.

— Ha, ha, ha, ha, how cynical you are, but what you say is no excuse, nothing teaches better than the university of the street and, besides, it's not the first time a dog talks to me, in fact, I recently ate by mistake some hallucinogenic mushrooms and I could see Michigan J. Frog himself singing "Hello my baby, hello my honey" and all the repertoire of Sinatra.

— Really? I don't believe you, look, wait a minute, that man won't stop looking at us, he'll think you're crazy for talking to me, if you want let's go to that lonely alley, tell me more and I'll make sure I get a second cup of coffee.

— Well, we all have a bit of poets and madmen, and "When the madmen are the majority, then the madmen will be them" is a phrase that is not mine, but it is very popular.

— I am a little worried about the looks, that man is a client of the butcher shop where I eat on Tuesday and Thursday nights, can we talk by telepathy?

— No, telepathy seems to me a fraud like tantric sex, and I will not hide my past, yes I was interned in the asylum.

— And did you escape?

— No, I walked out the front door with my signed sanity certificate.

— How did you do it?

— Well, a classmate told me not to draw any more houses in the air in drawing therapy, I started to do the floors and by the third revision I had my release order.

— What you say doesn't make sense to me

— Well, was that the reason or, maybe, they were running out of beds, I don't know more details... I think you ask a lot of questions, let's see if you are just as impetuous to talk about your life.

— Yes, I'm an open book, I'm always hungry.

— What's your name?

— Homer.

— Oh! Then you'll be happy to know I carry a donut fresh out of the oven in my purse.

— I love donuts.

— But here's the thing, it's chocolate, it hurts, doesn't it?

— That was a cheap shot.

— Ha ha ha ha, hey...and what do dogs think of Britney's songs; "I'm Britney bitch!", "Work bitch!", I'm referring to the use of the term "bitch" to denigrate certain types of people.

— I like Britney's music, I think she's not cool, maybe I have something in common with you.

— I think you guys err on the side of obscenity by mating in public squares, complaining about fireworks, not getting organized and then going through the streets barking for help, I mean, if it weren't for puppy adoption and spay/neuter days, well, the outlook would be catastrophic, more stray dogs than rats in New York.

— Fortunately, we are not responsible for all the plastic that pollutes the sea, you criticize us, but you are not perfect.

— You are misunderstanding me, it is not my intention to provoke, dogs are a very lucky species, do you understand, just look at the cow protagonist of the play "Whose fault is it?", she was kidnapped, they were going to commercialize with her meat, she managed to escape and then her video went viral on social networks asking for humanitarian aid to travel to India, between tears of despair she said that it is unfair that dogs and cats are treated as pets and cows are nothing more than supermarket food.

— And that's why you are vegan?

— Yes, believe it or not. Your sarcasm can be a bit irritating.

— Maybe I am lucky, but if I were here in China, the most populated country in the world, I would literally be easy prey for evildoing butchers, I mean, I just live the life I've been given, let that cow stop dramatizing, I'm sure she wants to be an actress.

— I guess I'd better get going.

— Better relax and pour me some more coffee, now we'll talk politics and religion.

— Ha, ha, ha, ha, Oh Lord!, deliver me from the power dog!