While seeking for something to blog about this weekend, I came upon WE 158 writing suggestions, and one of the themes that piqued my attention was having a kid. To be honest, I'm contemplating publishing my story. I was afraid of receiving negative critiques, but then I realized that I truly needed to write down my narrative. So that when my son grows up, he will be able to read my blog and, maybe, he will understand everything.
When I became pregnant with my kid, I was fifteen years old. I am a product of an adolescent pregnancy, so I was expecting negative feedback from others, particularly my parents. There was also a time when my child was cursed while still in my pregnancy. That was one of the worst times of my life, and it's unfortunate that the man who got me pregnant didn't even defended me. What's more terrible is that, he just pressured me to terminate our child. I was blinded by false love at the same time as I was so terrified of my parents.
I was driven to use abortion medication because of the weight of the looming responsibility. My child's father informed me that it is just 2 or 3 weeks old thereby not completely developed. I was miserable and terrified, so I just followed his advise. I think someone slapped me as I was ready to take the third tablet, making me know how miserable it will be if I ever pursue the abortion. I broke into tears suddenly. I begged God for forgiveness for the mistake and pledged to try my absolute best to ensure that nothing unpleasant happened to the fetus in my womb. At the time, I forced my child's father to support my pregnancy.. which he did in multiple ways. He then drove me to a private hospital so the obygyne could examine the child inside me. Thank God for the healthy fetus inside me. His heartbeat helped us appreciate the value of life. At that moment, I knew I was about to become a mother.
I was afraid to receive negative comments about me. But one thing I realized is that I am more afraid to lose a child just because of a huge mistake that I did. And from the moment I heard his heartbeat, I knew I have to face this or if not, my conscience will haunt me for the rest of my life and I will not be happy.
Continuing my pregnancy at that time is a difficult decision, however I truly believe the kid inside me is the fix to all of my life's troubles. When I was younger, and even now, I craved a lot of love and care from my parents. I was known as the blacksheep, and I was frequently compared to my siblings. But when I found out I was carrying a kid, I recognized that the love I'd been longing for was going to arrive. The kid in the inside is the solution to all I've ever desired in my life.
This kid will be nine years old tomorrow. At the same time, I am enjoying my accomplishment as a mother. I've been a single parent for years and I'm very proud of myself because I can manage all of the obstacles that come with being a mother. It is really tough to raise a child, but I am grateful to God for not allowing me to go insane and lose hope. I am also grateful to this youngster since he was the Lord's instrument in allowing me to return to God and follow my aspirations once again. I decided to keep and take this child for one reason, he is my life and no one else can replace this child. Even if you take me back to the past, I will still choose to protect him.
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This is my entry for 158th Writing Suggestions. Thank you for reading my story.
