Thank God ItΒ΄s #NinetiesFriday
You took a long hard look at my ass. And then played golf for a real while.
I took a long hard look at my ass, and then wrote posts for a while.
Like last weekΒ΄s post about all the changes in me I do not see:
I love that Alanis song, so feisty, that is how I like it, or liked it. I still love Latina feisty but I am done with the unnecessary drama that often comes with those sparks.
Yeah, I have to admit my appetite did not change but I am slowing down, no longer going head first and taking all drama that comes with not thinking and letting your ...shall I call it passion... lead.
I still love a challenge but nowadays I would only invest if I see an ROI, because there is just so much BS flying around and I do not have time for that shit.
I guess I learned a lot from the biggest mistake I made in the '90s, cheating on my girlfriend.
Man that was so not worth the drama. That was one thing I never ever did again, other than that very little changed.
Although I think I now have a better idea regarding psycho red flags. Not that I mind psycho. just the right kind of psycho and not the gaslighting, manipulating type.
But hey there must be areas where I clearly see change???
Music Maybe?
I grew up on Meatloaf, Billy Joel, Toto, Beasty Boys, and Guns and Roses, listening to The Miami Sound Machine and the Top Gun soundtrack. I was eclectic a.f.
In the nineties, I guess I narrowed down my taste in music a bit so I would fit into the alternative rock, metal, scene.
Which doesnΒ΄t mean I did not like dance it just took me awhile to admit it. But I had my coming out late Β΄90s when I started playing goth events.
Because once I accepted that I thought this was cool:
I had to
I had to admit that this song gave me the same vibe:
And then I added a bit of Trainspotting:
And I did do her at the Love Parade:
I guess I learned it was not guitars only, but that I was looking for music for a paranormal life:
And I am still alive and still looking.
But I can not believe that this also was the 90s. This remains one of my all-time favs.
The Other Side Of My Music
Like I said those were just a few guilty pleasures but I would just as well play Sarah on a Sunday Morning
And I love the French CD Deux from Celine
Yes, I loved to take a walk on that wild Guilty Pleasure side:
The thing is, I still do.
I can still love Goth Metal, sniff some Electronic Noise, and cry while playing country..
So in summary, no, nothing really changed but my hair color so far.
Maybe my other hobby changed....
Writing
Now itΒ΄s damn hard to be my own judge of that.
But I will try, I will ask myself gently if my writing has changed.
Not the style, nor vibe but back in the nineties I just did not have the patience to sit behind a keyboard for at least an hour every day creating a serious story no one would ever read.
I preferred short and sweet, in girls and in writing. So I wrote mainly poems.
Although I remember that I wrote one longer story about 8 pages I guess. It took a lot of brainpower but it was in the same line of thinking as I write today. Something about a little juvenial revolution and it won first prize.
I got 100 Guilders in gift certificates for a bookstore, best thing about the nineties is that the bookstore also sold tobacco and you can use the gift certificates for that.
I went to study journalism to learn how to write better fiction, and I have learned that journalism nowadays is the same as fiction so now I wonder why I stopped my study.
But anyway, I still write and I definitely got better, and bi-lingual although not perfect I think do a pretty good job for a nonnative.
And I do not care what the rest of the world thinks because I know I will write that best seller one day, I just hope it sells bets before I die so I can have some fun from after a lifetime sweating behind a keyboard.
Family
I guess I have one more topic left at which I would like to take a long hard look:
I know I have been a bit of a problem child, an opinionated little F. I did not give a damn because I raised myself to see life as fun and take it if I could.
But my family has been there through out all those years, and they see what I have become. They must have not seen this coming back then. I was such a rebel with a cause.
When I stepped out of my parent's house and jumped into the great wide open. The sky was the limit.
Looking back I see so many dreams, of which I was able to achieve most actually. I did live that rockstar lifestyle and survived.
ItΒ΄s hard to imagine all the crazy shit I did, knowing that I am now having corporate for my current lifestyle.
I would have expected to blow my brain partying, but as I said I calmed down.
I even earned the respect back from my parents, not that I was looking for that. I preferred that they respect me being on stage for a 2000 people crowd every month. But noooo.
They prefer me sweating and using the other part of my brain behind a keyboard and slowly climbing up through the ranks....Funk That.
Altogether one of the few things that changed since 1990 is how I perceive my family. Where I was super happy to get away from them all in 1995 when I went living on my own.... I know enjoy time together.
I have learned to understand and accept their shortcomings, and I guess they had to do the same. I am no longer easily annoyed by their different points of view and their criticism between the lines.
My self-confidence has grown and I no longer take their comment too personally, I just think "OK BOOMER"
Bikini Bottom Line
If I had to answer my own question, I would say yes I turned from a Sparrow into a Nightinggail.
What is that for a freakish comparison, let me explain this parable:
Sparrows tend to have a stockier build with shorter tails and a relatively plain appearance, usually in shades of brown and grey. Nightingales are more slender with longer tails and have warmer brown tones on their bodies.
No, I did not get slender but I did get warmer and more gracious.
Nightingales are known for their distinct, melodic, and complex singing abilities, especially at night during mating season. Sparrows also sing but generally have simpler and less varied songs.
I had a big mouth in the nineties, but I learned how to come across as more complex & distinct.
Sparrows are social and adaptable, commonly found around human habitation.
While Nightingales are often shy and elusive, preferring dense woodland and scrub.
I have gone from being very sociable and adaptable, surrounded by other humans to a more reclusive and quiet existence.
Thank goodness you made it till the end Pees, Love and I am out of here!
#NinetiesFriday was brought to you by My 90s Rant
WTF do I do on #NinetiesFriday?
Well, don't do what I do because that would be copy/pasta!
But some ideas are music, movies, television, sports, or really anything Nineties related.
I assume movie, TV, or music topic reviews or talk will be most common, but you could also talk about a sports memory or something else.
Think the Pop Culture of the times, but it would be great to hear about little known and interesting bands or entertainment items. Donβt forget to use tag #NinetiesFriday
@geneeverett will give 3 basic income units to a winning random post every week that uses the #NinetiesFriday tag. Also @thebighigg has jumped in to match for 6 total weekly prizes! If anyone else wants to sponsor with 1 unit let me know or just send it if you donβt wanna commit to weekly π
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