Sometimes, some of the best ideas just come to me. Seriously, these are some really good ideas. I have more ideas than I will ever be able to complete in my lifetime, and I am saddened by that.
This is not to say that all my ideas are original inventions. Honestly, I don't think there has been an "original invention" for a rather long time, really; everything builds on what came before. So are my ideas. Some of the best of my ideas include the best comedy form of all time: satire.
This particular idea stemmed from a discussion around (but not with) my oldest son, a true Gen Z-er in every sense of the word. I'm having a difficult time convincing him to get a job, further his education, or even clean his room. The complaint, "For god's sake, boy, go shower!" has been yowled by myself more than once.
At first I thought it was just him and, by extension, me. What did I do wrong in raising him? Why will he not find a job? Go to school? Anything?
Why is my son such a lazy fuck?
As I pondered and thought and read and discussed it came to light that he is not alone in his lazy fuckedness. It's Gen Z as a whole!
"Gen Z Says It's the Laziest Generation"
"Gen Z Workers Are 'Lazy'..."
"Gen Z are an employer’s nightmare – my twenties put them to shame"
"Gen Z woman's struggle seeing face without filler for first time since 18"
Jesus Christ.
And then it came to me. His issues. Their issues. The entire generation. And why.
They need something to rally around. Something to define their generation. There was the Roaring Twenties. The Dust Bowl of the Thirties. The Space Race. Hippies. Computers. Dot-com's. And so forth.
What does Gen Z have? They don't know. The answer if you ask them to think about it? "Nah."
Whilst the Dust Bowl and migration of farmers to California brought us the classic The Grapes of Wrath, I present to you know, the 21st century satirical equivalent, the Gen Z modern The Grapes of Nah.
“Wherever there is nothing to be done, I'll be there. Wherever there’s a WiFi signal strong enough to stream the latest episode, I’ll be there. Wherever there's a couch with just the right amount of cushions, or a chair that’s just ergonomic enough for prolonged gaming sessions, I’ll be there.
Whenever there's a TikTok trend that needs my immediate attention, I'll be there. Whenever there’s a chance to binge-watch an entire season of a show in one sitting, I’ll be there. Whenever there's a protest against the 9-to-5 grind, I’ll be there—virtually, of course.
Whenever there's a tweet that needs a snarky reply, or a meme that needs sharing, I'll be there. Whenever there's a delivery service that brings me food so I don’t have to leave my room, I’ll be there. Whenever there's an app that makes my life just that little bit easier, I’ll be there to download it.
Whenever there’s an expectation that I should contribute to society by working or learning or training, I’ll be there—saying 'Nah.' Whenever there’s a parental lecture about 'responsibility' and 'future,' I'll be there—scrolling through my phone, headphones in, nodding along like I’m actually listening.
Wherever there's a spot on the couch calling my name, or a new game that needs conquering, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a task to be avoided or a deadline to be missed, I’ll be there. Because in this world of infinite possibilities, I've chosen my path: a job? Nah. An education? Nah. Training? Nah. But doing nothing? Absolutely, I'll be there.”
Stay tuned for our next new classic, Old Feller!
"Well, son, grampas just too old now. Guess we'll need to throw him down the well."
(c) All images and photographs, unless otherwise specified, are created and owned by me.
(c) Victor Wiebe
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