Family is a pretty fascinating dynamic.
Show me two people from the same house with a clean slate and I'll show you at least one who's completely fulla shit.
Mine's a mess. What's left of it. They're toxic anyway. Always have been.
I was close to both of my uncles, go figure—Hells Angels - bar owners - beach - women. They both died about 10 years ago, I was still in my 30's. There's a couple of aunts left on that side, their sisters, my mothers sisters. They never really accepted me anyway.
It was always a competition. I didn't know it back then but now it's clear as mud. I can't be expected to understand favorite grandkid in a room full of grandkids, I was a fucking kid!! My aunts sure as shit did.
Hardly makes me angry at all, can you tell?
The people who should've been there the most when I needed them the most shit on me the most when I needed them the most. Been that way my whole life. Haven't spoken to that side of the family since my mothers funeral—no longer obligated; cousins, aunts, none of them. April will be 11 years. Buried her when I was 37.
Only parent I ever met. I have no brothers or sisters or children, had to improv that one on the fly.
Palla who?
First time I heard it, palliative. First time paying attention at least. That was the same day I learned pull the plug is a figure of speech. It's just a signature in the real world.
I've heard things about the guy who got my mother pregnant. I've always called him that. My grandfather called him sperm donor. Don't know much about him other than it sucks to be him—fathered someone as cool as me and never even met me. I bet he doesn't own a mirror.
I could probably use a fresh dose of anger management—been awhile. Never enlisted on my own, they were court ordered. The best, most therapeutic way to disguise anger is through humor, I've unveiled. I don't feel like being funny right now.
My wife's family is even more fucked up than mine. That's another one—even more fucked up than mine is surprisingly consistent. Interestingly enough, on the rare occasion I do engage lineage like this or catch someone else's story here or on YouTube or somewhere else, regardless who they are or where I'm at, more often than not, they're even more fucked up than I am.
Doesn't make it easier. I never had an uncle or family friend or anyone try any inappropriate advances on me, that's cool. Not everyone's so lucky.
And I'm not a psychopath.
Said you.
I saw a dad tag his young child's arm with a tattoo machine. Know a dude whose mother introduced him to heroin when he was 14. It was her dope. At least I never had to deal with that.
My wife has a brother, he's a couple years older than her—haven't said more than two words to each other in the 10 years I've known her. Every once in awhile, her grandparents or cousin or someone will tell us he locked himself up somewhere again and threatened to kill himself again so they called the cops, paramedics, et cetera, again and they came and took him away again.
They buried their dad almost 20 years ago. Pura was 22 so her brother would've been about 25 when he overdosed on opiates a week shy of his 55th birthday—dead.
And, their mother, I can't imagine what it's like to be her. She's in rehab again right now actually—90 days. 65 years old, never learned how to cope with the loss of her life partner. She doesn't have a phone yet. She usually calls Pura when they give her her phone back, takes a couple weeks. This is about the third or fourth time she's lost a job due to addiction.
I have to stop now. Sorry. Thanks.
