Your title made me think of Pint of Plain! That's another name for a pint of Guinness here in Ireland.. yep, it must be Friday.... Mmmmmm pints...
Them mirrors are deceitful my good man, you are toned and chiselled no doubt about, lying bastard of mirror! Your mention of Johnny Depp reminds me of this show one of the lads sent me today. It's fuckin gas and i reckon it'll be right up your street and @blanchy's too