My father passed away after being sick for a long time, and I saw him for the last time in the emergency room, just minutes before he died. I couldn’t believe he was gone so suddenly. His body was taken to a funeral chapel for a viewing that lasted four days. Our family and friends came to say goodbye, but it was hard to accept that he was gone. The chapel was full of people, but it still felt empty without him. Even though others were there, I felt so alone in my sadness. After the viewing, we took him to a simple cremation site for his final resting place. It was hard to believe that such a plain place was where my father’s life would end. Watching the cremation start, I couldn’t fully understand that this was the final goodbye. His death wasn’t just about losing my father, but the end of a chapter in my life I could never get back.
 |
|---|
 |  |  |
|---|---|---|
| Baesa Crematorium, a free cremation service site in the city where my father was cremated. | The bone fragments of my father ofter subjected to intense heat. We found some green bone fragments in his remains symbolizing the belief in his goodness during his life. | His ashes are to be placed in an urn provided by the crematorium. |
Starting the year after losing my father, I feel that love can be cruel. The world keeps moving forward, but it feels like I'm stuck in the past, holding onto memories of the person I've lost. Even though everyone around me is excited about new beginnings, it’s hard to feel that excitement when I'm carrying the weight of grief. The absence of my loved one leaves a gap in my life, and sometimes it feels like nothing will ever be the same. The new year feels different, and knowing how to begin is difficult when a part of me still feels lost.
It might seem impossible to move on some days, and everything in this year will remind me of what’s missing. Birthdays, holidays, or even quiet moments can feel incomplete without them. But there might also be small moments of comfort, like the support of friends or family, that remind me it’s okay to feel sadness still while also allowing yourself to experience joy. Over time, I know that healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning to live with grief while being open to new experiences. Even though it’s not easy, I'll find room for pain and hope.
 |
|---|
As the year goes on, I realize that moving forward isn’t about “getting over” the loss but finding a way to carry their memory with me. It’s okay to miss them, and it’s okay to grieve, but it’s also okay to live your life and find happiness again. The year ahead may still feel heavy, but with each day, I’ll learn how to find balance, honoring the memory while making space for new moments and growth. It’s a journey that will take time, but I’ll move forward in my way, one step at a time.
ALEXIS
Welcome to my blog. I'm just a simple staff in the service industry, currently doing the things that my inner child wants in life. Mostly self-taught in the things that gave me the purpose to learn more about the digital world that led me to this awesome community.
