Oh dear, you weren't exercising for me...were you?

in #hive-19623310 months ago

I saw this post on Facebook just now about a woman who was killed last year here in Bucharest, while jogging, by stray dogs. It was a bizarre, ranty, angry post going on about how the system doesn't care about this great injustice, and how it's somehow the government's fault. Not the fault of the people abandoning or hurting these animals, and certainly not the fault of said jogger who insisted on running in an area well-known for its violent strays, where she had been attacked before. I mean, as sad as the particulars of the death may be, I still believe we owe the universe some personal accountability, you know?

(There's a lot of that about - a total dismissal of personal accountability. Now, whatever happens to us must be someone else's fault. It's never reckless, or heaven forbid, stupid of us to go tempting fate. Though I remember quite clearly that used to be an option on the dashboard of life.)

Anyway, what caught my eye was a phrase used by this impassioned ranter about the lengthy marathons this lady used to run, and how the government wouldn't even bat an eye at those.

I thought, I'm sorry, was she running for the Prime Minister?

Whence this bizarre entitlement? Why should I, the PM, or anyone really be impressed or in other way particularly interested in some rando's choice to run 50 km?

Obviously, good for her. I think running is good exercise, I have friends who run, and if one of them were to talk to me about it, I'd be as supportive as with any other form of physical exercise.

Personally, I'm trying to level up my splits this year (carry over from last year). When I achieve that, I may boast to a couple of people I know. May talk about it with a fellow yogi. But I don't expect the universe at large to give me a round of applause. Certainly don't expect the minister to be impressed. I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for me.

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While it's natural to be proud of your physical achievements, some people take it to the next level, and a lot of runners have this tendency. Lionel Shriver captures this arrogance wonderfully in The Movement of the Body Through Space, a lovely little tale about an older man who decides to take up running as a sort of answer to a mid-life crisis. Within weeks, he's taken over by this amusingly infuriating zombie brain where nothing matters more than his runs, all he wants to talk about are his runs, and he predictably expects a round of applause after every lap. Much to the chagrin of his wife who, albeit a lifelong runner, has never bought into the trend of running. Sort of ran before it was cool type.

It pokes great fun at people taking themselves too seriously, and also at how eagerly we latch on to any and every movement, idea or trend in an attempt to define ourselves.

Much as we might enjoy certain sports, diets, or hobbies, they don't actually encapsulate our entire personality. And while our progress ought to be a source of personal pride and satisfaction, it is not something watched on the big screen by large swatches of the population. Nor should it be.

Obviously, it's not just runners. Gym rats and many other enthusiasts have also adopted this feeling of entitlement. What chafes about it is that somewhere underneath, there's the impression that they are doing it (running, lifting weights, etc.) for some invisible spectator.

What's happened with the strength and self-assurance to stand on your own two feet, say "this is important to me", and be content with it?

You're the only person you're running for or jogging for or lifting weights for or learning the splits for. The minister doesn't need to know. Or care. But perversely, our entire spectator-culture seems to think they should. After all, we spend so much time observing what random strangers are doing through an online lens. If you look closely, our butts seem to have scooted surreptitiously backward, and there's always some breed of fizzy drink clutched tight in whatever hand isn't holding the remote. The Homo Observer is advancing in vaguely sluggish strides towards the 21st century, as the next installment of our little soap opera called The Human Species.

I've never understood things like marathons, personally. Never was interested in stopping and just gawking at them. If you're my friend and running in one, obviously, I'd come support you as presumably it matters to you. But I'm not gonna stand around and look at random people running. I mean, good for them, it's probably great exercise, but it seems bizarre. It becomes more about the show than the exercise. After all, you don't stop a random stranger jogging along and hoot and pat them on the back? Wouldn't wanna be considered a perv or weirdo trying to chat them up. And yet, they may have, that very day, achieved a new goal in their private, running journey. So it's entertainment. How could it not when these events rely heavily on masses of strangers standing around, clapping and cheering? It's the definition of entertainment.

And I don't think our personal achievements should be viewed as other people's entertainment. Seems a dangerous way to measure your worth.

And it is what you're doing. Most of the strangers who'll whoop or pat you on the back after a marathon don't know you or care about the many hours you spent working towards this goal. They just want something to do on a Saturday afternoon, you know, and you've given them that. The pat on the back is seldom a "well done, all that grueling training paid off, I'm so proud of you". Mostly, it's "good show."

And is that really the best you can define yourself as? Someone else's show pony? Seems to be, otherwise we wouldn't expect random strangers to care about our personal, physical progress.

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I used to run. My max run was 4 miles. Maybe that would be a 4K, idk. But that was plenty of good exercise. More than that doesn't interest me. Recently, I told someone that my daughter had just run a 5K, and they scoffed! Like it was nothing! I know it's far from nothing.

I show appreciation for my family and friends who do it but, like you, I have no desire to watch marathons. Now, when I do catch bits of them, I can only think "those people are going to be so sorry when they get to be my age."

and they scoffed!

What horrible manners. I mean, obviously, if you felt it was worth sharing and that this person was worth sharing it with, it was definitely not nothing. Congrats to her. Sounds tremendously hard and I'm sure it takes a lot of discipline.

"those people are going to be so sorry when they get to be my age."

Really? May I ask why specifically? 'Cause the protagonist in the book I mentioned (the lifelong runner) can no longer run at the time of the story, 'cause she fucked up her knees. The way it was described really put me off running (I ran a bit during the pandemic), esp as the author herself used to run, so presumably she knew what she was talking about.. So It's interesting to hear you say this!

Your first priority should be you so you should try to look good for yourself even before thinking about another person
Run for yourself
Look good for yourself too!

It’s important to exercise for oneself absolutely and it also can extend when you have a family and kids - to exercise for them so they get the best version of you in terms of health and flexibility. I do get annoyed at people who just do it for social clout though lol

Ooh I love this "rant" - so many many tangents to pick up.
I'll start with an "ooh I need to read this" - Lionel Shriver 's The Movement of the Body Through Space ("....an older man who decides to take up running... all he wants to talk about are his runs, and he predictably expects a round of applause after every lap. Much to the chagrin of his wife who, albeit a lifelong runner, has never bought into the trend of running. Sort of ran before it was cool type.")
My kind of author/book:

It pokes great fun at people taking themselves too seriously, and also at how eagerly we latch on to any and every movement, idea or trend in an attempt to define ourselves.

My sister was an addict - running marathons, even at age 61. Suddenly she is dead. Ok, it took several months of horrific pain and struggle (Stage 4 stomach cancer) before she went down at age 62. Even bedridden, she would try to get up and move around. Ever see dogs running in their sleep? She was kinda like that....

Me, I've never been a runner. Bad knees. "Growing pains," doc said when I was 12, but I never outgrew them. Walking will suffice! Running, only in my dreams...

I'm so sorry to hear that about your sister. My condolences. Can't imagine how frustrating it must've been, for someone to be so active, and suddenly not be able to. Though I do think being physically active is a valuable resource, one that (I imagine and hope) can power you even through illness.

Yes, I heartily recommend Shriver. She is frightfully intelligent and an extremely good novelist. She's the kind of writer who can piss me off how much I disagree with her (she's also a political/social commentator), yet I still have to admit it's usually a flawless write-up.
Her "Should We Stay or Should We go" is also terrific, as is (my personal favorite) "The Post-Birthday World". Really recommend both if you like the notion of alternate realities, and what-if moments.

Thanks - and I'll add Shriver to my reading list!
Three sisters down, then our dad. So, I escape via fiction, and alternate realities sound great.
Oh those "what-if" moments.
I have to stop going there.
It's hard to shake the idea that it should have been me, not my marathon-running sister.....

No. Never. Besides, who are you to say how it Should've been? Don't think like that, my friend. It brings no good and they sure as hell wouldn't want you to.

It's mystifying - who lives healthy yet dies young, and who smokes, drinks, drives without a seatbelt, and lives on and on and on. It's not about merit or purpose. So often, the first to die seem to be the most productive and generous people, parents with young children, volunteers, people with special talents and gifts. This week, one of the really good guys (and extraordinary photographer, WWII fighter pilot, volunteer) died at home on his 101st birthday. A good guy made it -- not just 100 but to 101! Yay!

But in the same week, a 13-year-old boy died from a sledding accident. His twin sister and his parents burying him in the January snow...

He was also active at home, planting fruit trees with his grandfather, tapping trees and syruping with his family, helping with the chickens, and exploring and taming the land with his dad. He was his dad’s favorite companion. Together they enjoyed hunting, fishing, storm chasing, and observing the stars and sky. Adam was always curious and ready to explore all the world had to offer. He never met a snake, turtle, or toad that he didn’t want to keep as a pet. He never met a Lego set he couldn’t conquer. He aspired to become either an engineer or a paleontologist and had his sights set on attending MIT. He loved his family and spending time with them. Adam enjoyed hearing old stories, learning from his grandparents and great-grandparents.

Nope, it's never fair.