Setting
Outdoor tables at the Love You a Latte Café, Valentine’s Day.
Cast
Roger Hartzick: A bachelor, late twenties, who is tired of the dating scene. Irma and her friends frequent the bar where he works. One day, he asked her out, and she half-heartedly agreed to a coffee date. He must convince her to give him a chance.
Irma Coldhart: A standoffish young woman, about 25 years old. She is not impressed with Roger, but decided one coffee date couldn't hurt.
Bruno: A tiny poodle with an attitude and sharp teeth.
Billy: A flamboyant, outgoing waiter at the café.
Lights come up.
Roger sits alone. The nearby tables are occupied, mostly with couples.
He looks around anxiously, holding a bouquet of pink roses. Then he smiles when he sees her.
Irma walks down the sidewalk toward Roger, carrying a purse with her tiny dog peeking out. Roger stands, bumping the table.
ROGER: "Oops!" Laughs nervously.
IRMA: "It’s alright."
ROGER: "Please... sit." He leans to kiss her cheek but she sits down and he misses.
Irma puts her purse on her lap. Bruno growls at Roger, who leans away, dramatically.
IRMA: "This is Bruno."
ROGER: "Hey buddy." Pause. "So, Irma, I…"
The waiter appears, cutting Roger off. He speaks at high volume, as if talking to people who are hard of hearing.
BILLY: "Happy Valentine’s Day, love birds!"
Irma looks alarmed.
BILLY: "I’m Billy, your server. Welcome to Love You a Latte Café! What can I bring you two sweethearts?"
ROGER: Fidgets. "Irma?"
IRMA: "Latte, please."
ROGER: "Lemonade?"
BILLY: "You've got it. Anything else? We have a de-lish selection of croissants. Hazelnut, chocolate filled… Not to mention chocolate dipped strawberries." Billy leans in, speaks in a loud whisper. "Chocolate is an aphrodisiac, you know!"
Irma raises her eyebrows. Roger coughs.
BRUNO: "Arf!"
BILLY: "Awww! Adorable!"
IRMA: "Just the drinks please, Billy."
BILLY: "You’ve got it, hon. I’ll be back in two shakes!"
Silence falls. Irma begins cooing to Bruno. Roger gives her a mournful look. Then he remembers the flowers.
ROGER: "I almost forgot. I have roses!" Awkwardly thrusts them at Irma.
BRUNO: "Grrrrr!"
Irma accepts the flowers. Roger pulls his hand away quickly to avoid Bruno's teeth.
IRMA: "Thank you." She accidentally pricks her thumb on a thorn. "Ouch!" Drops the flowers, puts her thumb in her mouth.
ROGER: "Oh no! I’m so sorry. Can I get you a Bandaid?"
IRMA: Studies her thumb. "No. It’s alright. The bleeding has already stopped."
Roger gently takes her hand, avoiding Bruno. Billy emerges from the restaurant. Irma slips her hand away.
BILLY: "Here you go, love birds!" Sets the drinks and a plate on the table. "Because it’s a special day, I brought you a fabulous chocolate croissant — on the house. Enjoy, darlings!"
ROGER: "How nice." He cuts the pastry in half.
IRMA: "It's all yours. I don’t eat sweets." She hands the roses back to Roger, then sneezes. "And I’m allergic to roses."
ROGER: "Oh! So sorry." Hastily stands, bumping the table again. The drinks slosh. "Oops!"
He takes the roses and hurls them into a trash bin at the edge of the café and returns to the table. Irma’s cell phone rings.
IRMA: "Hello? Hi, Grandma." Pause. "Just out for coffee." Pause. "Yes, with a man. His name is Roger. No… nothing serious."
She glances at Roger. He looks away to show he’s not listening, though it’s impossible not to.
Irma's voice becomes muffled as Roger looks around the café. Across from their table, a young woman is drinking coffee and eating chocolate dipped strawberries. She looks up from her book.
Roger makes eye contact. The woman smiles. He smiles back. She takes a very seductive bite of a strawberry, then twiddles her fingers playfully. He shudders and looks away.
IRMA: Goodbye Grandma. See you Sunday! Sets her phone down, then looks at Roger. "That girl is flirting with you."
ROGER: "A girl? I didn’t notice."
IRMA: "Most men would."
ROGER: "I’m not most men. I’m... just me."
IRMA: "Well then. Who are you?"
ROGER: "Hmm?"
IRMA: "What do you do? Just... bartending?"
ROGER: I'm also in school.
IRMA: Looks skeptical. Sips her latte. "Still in school? Hm. Either you’re younger than you look, or you're a late bloomer."
ROGER: Frowns. This date is going badly. "Actually…"
BILLY: Appears suddenly from a nearby table. "Hello love birds! Oh my, you haven’t touched that croissant! Can I get you something else?" Wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "Those chocolate dipped strawberries perhaps?"
IRMA: "Just the check please." She pets Bruno, ignoring Roger.
ROGER: Sighs. Time is running out. "Actually, I’m in medical school, for anesthesiology. Just about to start my residency."
IRMA: Looks up. "Oh?"
ROGER: Smiles. "How about you?"
IRMA: "I’m an RN. In obstetrics... prenatal, baby delivery."
ROGER: "Really? I'm in obstetric anesthesiology. Epidurals, mostly. I'll be over there at the hospital for residency."
IRMA: "What a coincidence. That’s where I work."
ROGER: "I guess we’ll be seeing more of one another."
IRMA: Nods. "Can I ask you something?"
ROGER: "Anything."
IRMA: "My friends ask me if seeing all those women in labor puts me off having children. Isn't that strange?"
ROGER: "Yes. What do you say?"
IRMA: "I tell them no, it's the opposite. The miracle of life fascinates me. I want that experience. To be a mother." Looks at Roger. "How about you?"
ROGER: "Same. Delivering babies makes me want them all the more."
They stare into one another’s eyes. Bruno is asleep inside the purse. Roger takes her hand again. A street vendor walks by hawking bouquets of red and pink carnations.
ROGER: "Are you also allergic to carnations?"
IRMA: "No. Just roses."
ROGER: Raises his hand. "One dozen red carnations, please."
He pays for the carnations and holds them up, concealing their faces from everyone, as if they may be kissing.
BILLY:Emerges from the café and turns to face the audience. "I knew it! They love each other a latte!"
Fade out.
Thank you for reading my play! This is my entry in the Cinnamon Cup Coffee community's Valentine's Day contest. Happy Two-Year Anniversary!
Photo credits: All of the photos in this post were taken by me with my iphone and belong to me, unless otherwise noted.
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