Being an artist is one of the most challenging professions known to humanity and today I've come to offer proof.
Now, I know what you're thinking:
"This guy already sounds like a moron. Why should I subject myself to such stupidity? It'll just end up ruining my pristine mind. Yet, I'm still so curious. Why can't I stop myself? People will just think I'm the moron if I show any interest and I need to protect my image, but am I really this afraid of the consequences that all stem from observing a simple picture of black?"
I can explain!
As you can see, I've already spent quite a few hours on this piece. Here's the breakdown:
- Hmmm? What should I do today?
- Think think think think think think think
- Damn this is hard.
- I'm getting tired.
- Whoa! I can't see anything!
- Did I just close my eyes?
- Was I sleeping just now?
- I should paint what sleep looks like!
A picture was born.
And because you're an inquisitive human, you get to experience the rest of the dream.
I recommend you get that dust off your screen though. I can't work in these conditions.
Once your screen is clean or you realize I was just messing with you (whichever comes first), we'll begin.
Ready?
Good.
I'm planning to keep this one simple. Haven't worked with black and white for awhile so I'm going to go with that. I'm producing it in my mind first. Stems from a vision. It travels from my brain, to my hand; a hand I am in control of. The process is similar to how one thinks of a word to write; a word that travels from the mind to the hands, causing the fingers to strike keys on something known as a, Keyboard.
At this point you might be growing concerned. Perhaps the tone is coming across sounding a bit prickly but I must remind you to relax. I am also a performance artist which can be very risky and difficult to pull off in writing, as I break the fourth wall to tell you this, all while remaining in character.
So instead of becoming angry and slamming the door behind you, I must insist you applaud me for my bravery.
Moving right along.
Everything seems to be going smoothly so far. I have my picture of black inspired by real world events in front of me. My face is buried deep within a bit of software called Krita. It's now my responsibility to transform back into a digital artist and add a new layer.
If you don't know what a "layer" is, just picture something you can't see, and place that on top of the picture of black.
The Writer/Artist Himself will now commence doing something.
Now, I'm well aware I could be showing you some progress shots but at this point I've been going for quite awhile and it still looks like a confusing mess. Plus it's really annoying having someone staring over your shoulder while you work, asking dumb questions like, "Why are you taking so long?"
First you were afraid to look and now you're becoming impatient?
This is all a test. Putting up with shit from others is one of the biggest challenges you'll face as an artist. It's never as easy as simply sitting on your ass and doing something, then finishing. And when was the last time you heard of a janitor being cancelled?
Someone always comes along to ruin the experience but you cannot allow them residence inside your mind. Even though I hate the sound of the voice inside my head, those are some of the words I constantly say to myself as a calming reminder; and now you can, too.
Where was I?
Not many people are both writers and artists and not many people attempt to do both writing and art at the exact same time. Juggling this many different thoughts all at once has turned my mind into the kind of circus where the the clowns are drunk and keep falling off the elephants then getting trampled while the crowd screams in horror as the popcorn flies in the air.
Notice how I've created an image with words rather than paint?
This is a sure sign my wires have been crossed and I'm starting to wig out.
It's time for a break.
And we're back.
After all this time I'm now starting to feel confident and think offering a sneak peek won't kill me, so, here we are:
So far it's just some boring people and you can see how mom doesn't really want to be there, but it is getting late and she has to work tomorrow so I don't blame her. Plus dad doesn't do a damn thing around the house. He's been unemployed since the "plandemic" and insists his crypto gambling addiction won't be the leading cause of divorce in 2023, but mom disagrees, like usual.
And that kid can't be helped. He just saw all those people get trampled by elephants and was the only one cheering, while looking forward to going again next year.
I know I know I know...
If I bring this family together I can save them and this art exhibition from falling apart, all at the same time.
I got this.
As you can see I'm a huge fan of efficiency and always get straight to the point so I must insist you calm down and relax once more.
Now I must get back to thinking about how I'm going to solve this world's problems, while you sit there wondering...
What the fuck is this abomination!
Get out of there! Run for your lives!
Noooooooo!
I wasn't done you stupid elephant!
I worked all day on that.
Conclusion
Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, I have nothing ready, and there will be no art post for you to enjoy today.
I do realize I've done a terrible job of addressing the elephant in the room once again. They said it would be a good investment and it's true, he does work for peanuts, but the damn thing will not listen to a word I say.
Third time this week...
Have a nice day.
