What does it mean to have charisma, and more importantly, how can we increase it (post having it of course)?
Are there people who exude charm even without uttering a word?
You see them enter a room and like a cosmic black hole they attract the attention of everyone in the room. Then when they begin to speak, silence descends and those around them listen raptly to their words.
If you have been in the presence of one of these charismatic people, you know exactly what I am referring to.
The question is, can we become one of these people? Are we born with charisma or can we develop and grow it?
Let's find out...
In general, charismatic people find themselves having more possibilities and opportunities in life. Well, now that we know why being more charismatic is important, let's see how to become one.
Robert Greene, famous for his essays on power, seduction and human nature in general, has compiled a list of the 10 qualities of charismatic people; let's see together what they are and how you can train them to increase YOUR charisma:
People love being carried away by someone who knows where they're going.
And decisiveness is doubly charismatic in times of crisis or difficulty: where everyone hesitates, those with charisma pursue their goals and show an engaging clarity in addressing problems.
There is nothing more magnetic than a person at peace with himself, who feels comfortable where he is, feels in the right place at the right time and knows exactly where he wants to go.
[PUT INTO PRACTICE]
⚜️ Get used to having clear goals and pursuing them with determination. In this article you can find out how to set really effective goals.
⚜️ Learn not to back down in the face of difficulties, actually, become the one or the one who is always able to find a solution even when others don't seem to see it.
“I'll take care of it” is a decidedly charismatic phrase. 😉
⚜️ Constantly cultivate your talents, train, improve yourself.
Every charismatic person doesn't immediately flaunt everything about himself, he always maintains that necessary veil of reserve that drives others to become curious and to imagine.
Good news, in short, for introverts! 😉
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⚜️ When you're in a work environment that you particularly care about or with people you want to involve, being like an open book can be reassuring but not charismatic.
⚜️ Instead of immediately telling, in the first ten minutes of conversation, details of your private life, hobbies, favorite movies, daily habits, definitions of your personality and other boring amenities, listen, understand what interests your listeners and concentrate on what you can say intelligent about it: your conversation will be decidedly more charming and charismatic.
I'm not talking about religious "holiness", but about "holiness" linked to one's lifestyles.
Today compromise is the order of the day at work, in the family, in social relationships.
Living according to one's values and ideals and one's convictions without compromising, in spite of everything and everyone, gives the impression of enormous strength and freedom and, consequently, arouses enormous admiration.
Think for example of the myth of the alarm clock at 5 in the morning that fascinates personal growth enthusiasts so much.
We know that it's not necessary to wake up at dawn to achieve our goals (although it can help) and we know that it's not a habit that fits everyone, yet people who are able to maintain "miraculous" morning routines inspire in us admiration.
[PUT INTO PRACTICE]
⚜️ List a series of values, habits and behaviors that you deem important for the quality of your life and your personal growth.
⚜️ For a few days dedicate all your attention and energy to these aspects that are fundamental to you and eliminate or simplify everything else. In short, live a few days respecting your values 100%.
⚜️ At the end of this experiment note what happened: how do you see yourself? How did others start seeing you? Discipline is charismatic.
In addition to gestures, the charisma radiates above all through words.
What we say hits straight to the heart. It can potentially radically change people's emotional state.
Therefore, learning to use words and voice well, especially when speaking in public, is a key skill to be more charismatic.
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⚜️ When they ask you a question, don't rush to speak, but count two seconds before answering. In general, learn to speak without breath and taking all the breaks you deem necessary (I'll explain why in this article).
⚜️ Emotions are not your enemy when you speak in front of others. In reverse. Use them, accentuate them if necessary and use their energy in your speeches.
⚜️ Learn how to breathe well and vary the rhythm of your voice to become more engaging.
⚜️ Populate your conversations with suggestive images, anecdotes, stories and words.
Charismatic people stand out for their presence.
But theatrics don't necessarily mean being a jester or a prima donna: a calm natural composure sometimes captivates the other interlocutors more than a forced exhibitionism.
The point is to stay as true to yourself as possible. Authenticity is another important lever of the charism.
[PUT INTO PRACTICE]
⚜️ When do you feel most comfortable: when you speak loudly or when you whisper? When you move a lot or when you sit still? Joking with your listeners or maintaining a very formal attitude?
Pay attention to the answers you give yourself and you will find your "presence formula" that will help you be more charismatic.
The charismatic person demonstrates a natural fluidity in indulging their inclinations.
She is spontaneous, without fear or rigidity, always willing to make new experiences.
Especially in the artistic field, it reveals an important opening to the unconscious.
She doesn't care what Tizio thinks, how Caio might react or what Sempronio will say.
If he wants to say yes, he says yes, if he feels like saying no, he says no.
He has the courage to be firm in his decisions. She puts her talents to use, she expresses her way of being unique because he considers that the most important thing.
[PUT INTO PRACTICE]
⚜️ Challenge yourself to try something new every week. Have fun. Life is shorter than we think.
⚜️ If you have to remember a sentence from this point, remember this: "if the charismatic person wants to say yes, he says yes, if he feels like saying no, he says no". He learns to listen to you more and make your decisions accordingly.
In a sea of disillusionment, cynicism, pre-packaged dogmas and generalized apathy, striving for an ideal is as rare as a pearl.
And, precisely because it is so rare, passionate fervor is extremely fascinating in the eyes of others.
[PUT INTO PRACTICE]
⚜️ Find an ideal in your life that is bigger than you; eh no, I'm not suggesting you turn into yet another activist of the rest of us who wants to teach the world how it should work and isn't even able to make his own life work. Go beyond pre-packaged ideologies, marry an ideal and make it concrete in your daily life.
⚜️ When you've embodied that ideal, become its champion and spread it with passion and energy. In general, you put energy and passion into everything you do. This attitude can be contagious, it certainly is charismatic!
They convinced us that demonstrating our vulnerabilities was wrong. The exact opposite is true.
In a world of artfully constructed social characters, we yearn for some healthy authenticity and being authentic also means being vulnerable, it means being able to bare our weaknesses, aware that we have the strength to face any consequence.
Furthermore, those with great charisma are rarely arrogant or rude: they love respect (for themselves and for others), and this is why they receive respect and admiration from the outside.
Yes, even courtesy is charismatic.
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⚜️ In the next conversations you have, give sincere compliments if you like something and don't mind expressing admiration or esteem for others.
There are two types of routines:
1 ️ ⃣ the first, characterized by the alienating repetition of behaviors and actions that have slowly crept into your everyday life (without you even realizing it), is killing you.
2️⃣ The second, characterized by the deliberate choice to engage in the disciplined repetition of empowering habits, is the key to your success.
Cultivating your spirit of adventure therefore means eliminating the alienating routine (the first type of routine), and not your healthy habits.
Indeed, the latter represent the indestructible vessel that will allow you to sail uncharted seas.
[PUT INTO PRACTICE]
⚜️ Discipline and cultivate a set of healthy habits that help you have the energy, time and creativity you need for your most adventurous explorations.
⚜️ Dare every day, expanding your comfort zones, even if it were just an inch: whether they're in sport, study or work.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the choice to act in spite of fear.
…and this attitude is fucking fascinating and magnetic. Not just for others, but for yourself!
If you learn to act for what is right and good for you, despite the fear of failure, the fear of looking ridiculous, the fear of being judged by others, you will become unstoppable.
[PUT INTO PRACTICE]
⚜️ Think of something you want and feel you should do, but you keep procrastinating. Now face it without hesitation as soon as you finish reading this article. Don't give the cowardly little voice in your head time to come up with a thousand rationalizations for not taking action. Follow your instincts, give yourself power.
If you've come this far, it means you've invested 10 minutes of your life in your personal improvement. If you want to multiply this investment you've made in yourself and translate it into concrete changes and goals, choose at least one action you'll take by the end of the day to increase your charisma.
Of course, feel free to comment and express your thoughts below!
Hug you!
English is not my first language but I try, please forgive any errors.
