We stood outside “La Chambre Swingers Club & Sex Dungeon" thinking, this building is as boring as they come. It was black, unadorned, and bland which is typical of anything in Britain’s sex industry.
Less glamour, less appeal, fewer cops I suppose. The people who want to be in there know what's inside and that's what matters.
…but this was not our first visit. Previously a huge set of tall, thick wooden gates had blocked our way, ones that demanded a serious climb.
This time the gates were gone, as though a couple of large plowhorses had arrived, attached some chains, and walked off taking those annoying gates with them.
According to this article, the swingers club is about to make a comeback, with COVID the reason for the original closure in 2020.
Another story I have read is this whole block of houses is scheduled for demolition. I don't know what to believe.
Seems we managed to get in and out just in time as word on the street is that it is now sealed.
Our intelligence had told us a window was open, which descended into the sex club bowels.
When you enter something seedy, the direction is generally down and so it was with much delight that we found ourselves clambering through said window to descend into a menagerie of derelict smut and filth.
Maybe it's the toilets or some type of reception room. I noticed the spray painters had visited and left their tools on the counter as well as a portable land mine. Better to keep away from that if you want to retain your limbs.
Moving on... it didn't take long to arrive in the thick of things; a nice bathing suit barely holding it all in was just an appetizer.
I am presuming it's the bar, some Dutch courage could be necessary for first-time swingers, though it's best to go easy as brewers droop could seriously balls things up for you.
We arrived a little late for the party as usual and the idiots had already spoiled the show somewhat.
Still, it wasn’t in bad shape (so far), with the odd seat mindlessly ripped away; they do look quite the decent leather type.
Descending further still we awaited even further levels of smut to assault our senses. Chains and veins, was there an element of BDSM as well as shagging some strangers available?
Being a novice to all this seedy stuff, where do you peep, through holes, or do you pull up a chair and stick your head through that arch and gaze upwards?
There's also a big hole in the glass which would be mighty handy for a 'peep'.
It reminds me of those playmates at kid’s indoor activities. Easy to clean, easy to wipe away the stains, stains of a different variety.
I'm sure that greenery is not natural decay; we were a little too far underground for that.
Blimey, real metal chains as well as painted ones all over the walls. Someone could drag those off the walls and tie some poor helpless girl down.
If this was supposed to be a ‘sex cell’ then the bars need replacing. My deviancy skills and experience were rising by the minute. What else would I be subjected to next?
We climbed out of the dungeon in shock. Any more of this and we would be irreparably damaged and permanently changed.
If the dungeon was downstairs what else could “La Chambre Swingers Club & Sex Dungeon" offer us today? We were looking to heaven and there was only option.
Talk about out of place; what the fuck are children’s books doing in a place like this?
..."just wait over there pumpkins and colour those books in while I go and find some loose slapper to shag. Daddy is feeling a little heavy down in the bollocks area today"...
A kiddies' waiting area more like, complete with soft toys to comfort the waiting distraught children.
Pop your dick through one of those lower holes and enjoy, don't forget to push your balls though at the same time. You can watch if you like through the upper eyeholes.
... Oh and don't be shy, there's only room for three simultaneous blow-jobs, it doesn't get too crowded in here.
Watching yourself perhaps; it could be a turn-on for some swingers.
POW… indeed, but we could have done without your stupid vandal paint. I loved the next set of 'artwork', all very graphic and intense.
Does it get you in the mood?
Note the soft beds directly under the ‘art’. Whoever is on top would be watching the graphic illustrations while pumping away.
Grab hold and direct it toward the only valid target.
Are they supposed to be veins on the wall?
The leather, er… plastic was starting to crack in some of the rooms.
'Jade and Kim' are quite tasty, but what do they do at the club? I thought this was for swingers, which usually means middle-aged people. They look a little young.
The chick on the right looks like she's changed her mind about the visit. Is this image designed to instill a sense of guilt into a man?
The ‘Play Rooms’… as well as seductive lingerie dangling from the edge of the door. What could be more tempting?
What was in that fireplace previously? It looks like a standard external wooden seal. The design is very gothic.
Girl on girl is perfectly acceptable within “La Chambre Swingers Club & Sex Dungeon”
It's not exactly a swimming pool but maybe a place to clean up, or to have some extended naughtiness after the main course is finished.
COVID did not help businesses and during those rent arrears months, most of the UK was boarded up and closed. Let's hope Linda Marie doesn't fall too far behind and can pay those arrears.
Could “La Chambre Swingers Club & Sex Dungeon” really open back up for business? I hope so, that was a flavoursome visit.
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