Public speaking is one of my biggest fear. I always find struggle with public-speaking anxiety. I don’t like being watched, having all eyes on me, or being in the spotlight.
I am a teacher, but speaking in front of a crowd in seminars, workshops, and events has always been difficult for me.
When I stand to speak, I avoid making eye contact with the audience at first. I used to believe that avoiding eye contact was an effective way or strategy for coping with separation anxiety, but I was wrong. It actually makes me more nervous. I feel painfully visible whenever I speak in front of a group and feel eyes on me. I feel like a cavewoman in broad daylight.
My fear of public speaking, also known as stage fright, has taken a huge toll on my self-confidence and self-esteem and has caused me to pass up some opportunities in my career.
Taking Steps to Overcome My Fear
On February 26th, at precisely 5:00 a.m."Good morning Jen, can I have a favor, please?" my former school principal texted. "I responded without hesitation, "Yes Sir? What's the big deal?" He then paused for five minutes before responding. Then another text message appeared, asking if I could be one of the MASTERS of the ceremony for our Sportfest Activity. I initially thought it was a joke and asked, "Are you serious, Sir?" Me? As one of the emcees?", "Of course!" he said, and I asked again, "Are you serious Sir?" "Just so you know it would be my first time to be an emcee in front of so many people, and of course in the midst of other school heads and principals from our entire district," but he insisted "You can do it, I trust you" and I responded with a hesitant "Okay Sir because you trust me, I will accept it and do my best."
The sports fest activity is scheduled to take place two days after my former school head texted me, and I only have two days to prepare everything, including my script and, of course, myself. I couldn't think straight until then, and my heart was racing as time passed.
But, because I have so much respect for my former school principal, I can't help but see this as a challenge and an opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone.
After I finish my script, I always make time to practice in front of the mirror. I practice my diction as well as the tone of my voice. Because I am a soft-spoken person, I will need to adjust because I will be participating in a sports activity that requires some energy and a loud voice to energize the people and the crowd.
Our district included nineteen schools. Consider the number of people who will keep an eye on me, not just teachers, but also the children or players of each school, parents, and other school principals and school heads, as well as our district supervisor.
As time passed, I became more nervous and questioned myself. There are a lot of what-ifs running through my head:"what if I get nervous and misread my script?" "what if my tone of voice cannot give energy to the crowd?" "what if I get nervous and I get mentally blocked?" "what if they will just mock me, and laugh at me if I say the wrong grammar?"
But I prayed to God, and because I seize every opportunity that comes my way, there is always a reason for it. And because someone believes in me, I don't want to disappoint them or be wrong about his decision.
So when the big day arrives, I tell myself, "I can do this, God is with me." At first, my hands trembled as I held the microphone, and then I looked at "Sir Rommel," our former school head, who whispered, "you can do it! " So I closed my eyes and prayed, "Lord, guide me" and when I began to speak, I was amazed that all my fears vanished. I was also impressed with myself because I managed to speak louder and without misreading any words. And what makes me even happier is that I can hear the crowd clapping at me with joy as they feel the spirit of the event.
I'm glad I overcame my fear, and I know that God is in control while I'm speaking in front of an audience.
This situation is extremely beneficial and improves me as a person; another fear has been taken down. It is true that if you believe in yourself, you can rock your speech and presentation in front of an audience!
